Anonymous asked: I'm intentionally ignoring my boyfriend due to the fact he argues with me SO much and I just can't be bothered with it. He puts me down all the time, tells his friends things about me that I find personal and despite me asking him not to he continues to do it. He admits he has some sort of "problem" but it seems like he's not willing to fix it. For me, silent treatment should work out but I'm pretty certain he'll start getting paranoid or something. I just need a bit of space.
If he treats you so badly, why are you still with him? I know, when you love a person or care for them so deeply, you just stay with them for the hope that things get better. Maybe they were amazing in the beginning, and you’ve just held on to the good times, hoping things will go back to the way they were. But if he’s not really willing to fix things, then why stay with him? You should evaluate yourself and think “Am I worth more than this?” If yes, I’d suggest finding someone else who is worth it. You should never settle for anything less than what you’re worth. There are plenty of guys who won’t put you down in public and who won’t argue with you all the time. Ignoring him won’t solve anything either. Try either talking to him, telling him you need space, and that things between you need to get fixed if you two plan to stay together. Or you could go the other route and find someone new who is worth you. Again, don’t settle for anything less than what you’re worth. <3
“Problem with boys- They make you think they love you, when they don’t.
Problem with girls- They make you think they don’t love you, when they do.”
“It’s a shame to hide such a wonderful feeling like Love,
When you love someone, show it, say it!
Love must be stronger than the fear of a failure,
If it isn’t that strong, you don’t love enough,
But that is no excuse, don’t be weak, help yourself,
Make it bigger, stronger, livid!
Then say it!
If you already fell in love, you know.. Everybody loves..”
Anonymous asked: Hey there. so my ex-boyfriend just revealed to me that throughout these 5yrs that we've not been together he realized that all he's ever wanted was me. he told me that I am THE ONE! I could of not been happier, but now your problem is his friend. see i went out with one of his friends. total mistake i know. but now we don't know how to be together without hurting that friend. who by the way is totally obsessed with me :( what can we do. pls help. i'm desperate, we're desperate. -C&M
That can happen with a guy, especially if he was your first love or if you were his. If you really feel like you want to be with him, be with him. Yes, you will hurt the other guy and it will suck, but it has to happen. Why make yourself miserable about this? I know you want to spare his feelings, but that’s not what’s best. If you let him off easy, he will eventually move on. He will go through relationships. Everyone has heartaches from relationships ending. Do you think that no one has ever gotten hurt from a relationship? I’m sure someone broke up with you and it obviously hurt. But you move on past that, just like he will. Just, make sure you are nice to him which I’m sure you will be. Tell him you’re extremely sorry, but if he truly cares for you, he will want you to do what makes you happy. Do what makes you happy, it will suck but it will be best for everyone. <3
Anonymous asked: There's this guy I've liked for years and late last year he started getting seriously flirty but then just stopped. That was around new year and since then he's just been treating me like a friend but I was at his house one day with his sister for a project and he started asking me about all of the guys who've asked me out and he mom kept cutting in saying things to him like "You sound worried." then he said something to her a while later and she told me he liked me but he denied it. :( help?
Have you tried being up front with him? Maybe saying something such as “Okay look, I like you, no more games. Do you like me back?” If you’ve been stuck on this guy for a few years now, do you really want to torture yourself with the thoughts “I think he likes me” or “there is no way he could.” more than you already have? If you are upfront with him, the worse thing he could say is no. At least then, you could move on. No guy is really worth that much confusion. If he doesn’t feel the same way, it’s not the end of the world. There will be plenty more guys who will come with way less complications. Even if he may seem like the only guy for you and you could never like someone more than him, trust me, that’s not true. Guys come and go, but eventually, you’ll find the guy that won’t go, and you’ll be together forever. :) Hope I’ve helped <3
I’m ready and willing to give advice to those who need it. Will help out with any troubled love life, and I guarantee that my advice will be worth it :) Write me on anon or private message me. Whatever you like :) and don’t worry about the length of your problem, I always read :)
Alright. This is a pretty pretty pretty looooong one. I wish I could spark notes it :c
I just wanna know what to do & if I should feel like I’m in the wrong for this: I was with this guy (M) for almost 2 years but he broke up with me a few weeks before last Christmas. It was a pretty rocky relationship & we had our ups & downs & by the time he wanted to get me back, I had already started developed feelings for one of my friends. So. I went to go be with my friend instead. He was graduating so after he had graduated, we broke things off & we’re still really good friends to this day.
But. After he had broken things off, I was devastated cos I had expectations ((like a regular person would)) & think that maybe we could do long distance & all that jazz but since it didn’t happen then I just moved on quickly to another friend. But after being with him for a little bit, I realized how much I missed M & just wanted to work things out with him so we decided to break it off & he told me it was fine cos I wasn’t very click-ish with him & he wasn’t looking for anything serious anyways. Which kinda hurt, cos to some extent I did like him a lot.
Anywho. M decided that he was cool with me & we decided that we wanted to work things out & just be with each other again even though of our rocky past & the stuff that we both had done while we were NOT together.
But. The thing is, we could go on dates with other people as long as we were number one priority to the other. & for some time that started working but then I started talking to this guy I’ve known for 2 years (C) & he was telling me how he wanted to take me out on a date & take me places & whatnot but never had the guts to ask cos I was with (M) during the time period that he did want to ask me out. I told him, hey I’m single but I’m working things out with my ex so if you’re cool with not having anything serious, by all means, let’s go out on a date. But shortly after our talks about this date, he got a girlfriend. I didn’t know how it happened but when I asked him about it one day while they were still together, he simply told me that he was just tired of being alone & just said fuck it, why not? I’ll just be with someone & he rushed into a relationship & that was that. They broke up like 6 days later after realizing how crazy she was & I told him I had feelings for him :X
ANYWHO. moving on. so. after talking to him more, i realized how much I wanted to be with (C) instead of (M) cos (M) just made me incredibly unhappy & I felt like I had just settled pretty much. So when I went back home for 3 weeks I decided to break off wtvr it was I had left with (M) & figured we could just work on being friends. Which we were until an incident but that’s not important.
Anywho. (C) & I talked everyday. From the time he had to go to work until he got off cos he would facebook me, skype with me, text me, the works. Just letting me know how much he couldn’t wait til I got back & just wanted to be with me & all that lovey dovey stuff. After a much long wait, I came back & everything was just perfect. & then a few days after me coming back, we hooked up for the first time & I was nervous as all hell. You see. (C) is the first guy that I’ve ever been with that is considered an adult. He has a career & a kid & he’s only 25.
Moving on, after we had hooked up, I felt like things were just different & I was more scared & so was he. but he figured I was scared cos I had my walls back up. & i don’t know why that happened the way it did but yeah. Little by little we started talking less cos his job wouldn’t allow him on facebook or skype or anything. So I accepted it. But even the phone calls turned to “Let me call you back in 5 minutes” & it never happened.
So. On the 26th, regardless of all this, we decided to give it a shot for real & be together for real. Girlfriend/boyfriend status. so yeah. still the talks still get kinda short to nothing at all. & so it just got me used to talking to him like i would talk to a friend which is all “Oh hey stranger” kinda thing. But he spoke to me one day & told me that he had just signed a contract to do a websites gig which meant a lot of money would be coming his way & he wouldn’t need to be struggling anymore & he’d be able to feed his kid & get out of his rinky dink apartment. I got scared & asked him what that meant for us, & he said “less face time.” so. I’m the kind of person to believe that if you really wanted to be with someone, you’d make time for them. Which he clearly did not.
& so one night he texts me after we don’t talk or see each other for awhile. the talks became even more less after all of this. & he tells me that he wants to spend the night & whatnot. & he does but that night he tells me that he turned down the job cos he figures that being with me is much more important to him than working. & i was happy to hear that & didn’t feel so scared anymore.
but then one night he texts me telling me that he’s having suicidal thoughts and wants me to text him until he falls asleep which i do. but the next day comes along and still the same amount of talking is done: slim to none. and so here comes this major fight we have. and finally he messages me on chat and says that “i need to cool it cos everything on my page was all fuck this fuck that and wtvr” when it wasn’t cos i was just basically just expressing my thoughts and wtvr but never did i say fuck wtvr it was just on my gchat which had said “fuck feelings” or “fuck you portfolio” or wtvr.
it wasn’t until i believe the next day that we had this really really REALLY bad arguement that led me to believe that we had broken up & the other day we finally see each other on facebook & I guess we were just the kind to ignore each other. & so that day comes along & we just talk it all out. talk about everything & i just expressed how i felt about the argument & he simply asks me if we’re still together & i told him i didn’t know cos i was led to believe that we did. & if he wanted to be with me, he was going to have to start proving it. which he said he was going to prior to telling me how much he likes me & whatnot.
and so today comes along. and he sees me on facebook & messages me & i do my norm & ask him if he’s okay & he says yes & no & i had asked him what he meant by that. so he tells me that he never wanted to lead me on & that he does have feelings but this is the situation in HIS words: there is this girl that he is in love with & they dated like 8 years ago & she was from out of the country. so she decided to move up to the US & be with him & give them a shot so he decides to break things off with me & try it out with that girl. i get pissed of course and ught i dunno. i feel like im totally wasting my time typing this whole thing out. but i just feel so used and hurt and i feel like nothing that we really had was real and his feelings weren’t real even though he’ll tell me time & time again that they are but he’d be crazy to pass that kind of opportunity up.
& i remember telling him the first time he got a gf around me that i just felt like i was an inbetween girl and that i was just a plan b kind of thing which he tells me its not the case. but i don’t know if i can even trust him anymore after that arguement we had & he was supposed to build it up again. i dunno.
was he wrong for doing what he did? should i feel hurt? all of my friends keep telling me how much of a tool & dick he is for doing what he did but i am trying so hard to put myself in his shoes & i just can’t. if i’m with someone, i’m with them ya’ know? & i would just be like, listen sorry. I’m with someone already but maybe we can work on being friends? i dunno what to do or ught. i’m so lost & hurt :c
i’m sorry for this long rant but i just figured. this could be good for me.
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It’s totally good to get this off your chest. I don’t mind that you wrote a lot, I just hope it helped venting :) Basically, it sounds as if this is a guy you should forget about. Maybe he did have feelings for you but maybe this other girl, he had more feelings for. Either way, forget him. Stay friends with him if you want, but don’t go try chasing after him. And if he tries to get you back, don’t let him win you over again. You deserve a lot better than that. If he barely talks to you, that’s not a good thing. If you don’t feel like you’re ever being treated right in any relationship, get out as soon as you can. If you aren’t happy, then what’s the point? I’m not saying to completely think what he has said to you are all lies, but I’m not saying to fully trust him. Just, forget him. Find someone new that will treat you how you want to be treated. Don’t settle for anything less. But don’t act immature about this either. Don’t start talking crap about him to his face and have your friends do the same. Keep it civilized. PS, were you two sexually involved?
Anonymous asked: how's YOUR love life? :)
Pretty amazing actually :) We love each other a lot and we’re both pretty perfect for each other. :P Thank you for asking :)
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Anonymous asked: I'm the dude whose ex girlfriend is ignoring him. I finally got a chance to tell her my side of things. I apologized, explained why we should be together, the whole nine, everything in a letter since she's expressed how much she loves handwritten letters. I thought I really had a shot. But when she got back to me about it, she pretty much told me that the last time I hurt her, she lost lots of love for me. She thought we were meant to be too but she can't see it anymore. Told me not to wait for her at all, she wants me to move on. But she loves me and if there's anything I need, I can let her know. It cut me down to my core. I had to continuously fight myself not to cry hysterically. Thing is, I absolutely KNOW without a doubt that she is the one I'm supposed to be with. I'm in love with her so damn bad that I'm prepared to wait my entire life for her. I wouldn't mind spending forever trying to make her see I'm the guy she fell in love with in the beginning. Being with anybody else is pointless to me. I can't move on and it'd kill me even if she looked at anybody else. What am I supposed to do?
My advice would usually be to not wait around for anyone because in the long run, it could hurt you worse. I would say to try looking around and not focus on her and if she comes around, then be with her if you still have strong feelings for her and haven’t met anyone else. But in your case, I can’t say that. You’re in love with this girl. And honestly, when a guy is in love with a girl 100% and it’s real love and not the bull where he says he does but then goes and cheats on her and acts like a jerk to her, he loves her more than she can ever love him. In my opinion, a guys true love is more than any girls. So in your case, I’d say to keep fighting for her. No, don’t start getting obsessive and annoying because that will only push her away. Ask her to please forget what has happened in the past because whatever it was, isn’t who you are now. Instead of a handwritten note, try talking to her face to face. Not over the phone. Not over Facebook. Face to face. Convince her that you love her more than she will ever understand. Promise her anything you can, and what you are willing to promise. Convince her that you’re even better now then you were when she first started to love you. Tell her how you want no one else and how the thought of her being with someone besides you kills you inside. Try to get her back. Us girls, we like guys to be persistent when it comes to this. We may say no a hundred times, but the second you stop trying, it would hurt us even more. We’d start getting thoughts like “maybe he really didn’t love me because he stopped trying.” Now, this isn’t with every girl, but most of us are this way. But like I said, be persistent in a way that’s not obsessive and not annoying because it will turn her off from you. If you need more advice on what to do specifically, you can ask. Hope I’ve helped somewhat and goodluck! :)